Phil Galfond On Why You Should Expect To Lose At Poker

A little while back, I heard online poker legend Phil Galfond say something that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since.

Galfond was describing something his poker mentor Tommy Angelo (author of some incredible poker books) said to him that Phil claims completely changed his perspective. After hearing what it was, I can see exactly why.

As the story goes, Angelo was sharing his thoughts on dealing with that destructive force we poker players call “tilt” that so often takes over our psyches – causing us to act like some sort of deranged money-hating creatures of the underworld.

According to Galfond, Tommy’s advice was simple: it would be silly to get upset at something that was supposed to happen. If the weather called for a chance of showers, it would be silly to get upset when it rained. If you bought a lottery ticket with an extremely small chance of winning, it would be ridiculous to get angry at not hitting the jackpot. Or as Tommy Angelo said in the most Tommy Angelo way:

“If an a-hole is an a-hole to me, I’m not surprised – that’s what a-holes do.”

A good quip, no doubt, but one that is as insightful as it is hilarious.

Angelo’s advice – not to allow our minds to make us suffer about things within the realm of possibility – can be extended to every part of our lives and calls for a perspective of preparedness and acceptance rather than resistance and frustration.

Applying it to tilt at the poker table, when we get in with a flush against a set and lose on the river, we are in the realm of possibility. When we spend an entire session running pair into overpair – it’s in the realm of possibility. When we bust on the final table bubble to some “donkey” with a gutshot, say it with me now – realm of possibility.

Whether you’re sitting at a poker table, navigating personal relationships, or dealing with the general chaos of daily life, the goal is to be attuned to the realities of how things are rather than fruitlessly trying to force them to be the way you want. By anticipating and even embracing the predictable unpredictability of life as a human, we empower ourselves by laying claim only to that which is within our own control – ultimately just our thoughts, feelings and actions.

As the ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote some 2,000 years ago:

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

So, whether it’s the rain, the lost bet, or the suckout by the donkey in seat 3, constantly remind yourself that being surprised by proverbial a-holes acting like a-holes, might just make you one yourself.

Or as Phil Galfond put it just a touch more eloquently:

“If I’m upset by something that’s gonna happen reasonably often, that’s a failing on my part, it’s a lack of preparation – emotional and mental preparation – on my part.”

Well said Phil, well said.